§ We came to this world to LIVE OUT LOUD!

How to Transform the Seeds of Anger Inside Us

Jun 9, 2020

As I write this, I’m struck how the seed of anger that is inside of each of us is exploding and affecting not only us but our families, communities, countries and the world.
As I sit in the backyard of our Airbnb in a small Florida town, my heart is with all the people who are on the front lines all over the United States, confronting racial oppression and injustice, murder and inequality.
I firmly believe in equality for all people, regardless of race, gender, gender identification, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, cultural norms or any other classification system that we have created to separate us.
Many, many people are enraged and fed up.
And hurting. Hurting badly.
We see it on the global level with non-violent and violent protests.
On the community level, as domestic abuse hotlines are inundated with more calls than they have ever handles.
On the family level, as we lose our tempers easily these days and are not as patient and kind as we could be to one another.
And on the individual level, as I find myself judging the beliefs of others and getting angry quicker than I want to. (Spending time regularly with my parents whose political and social views are 100% opposite of mine has been a real test of patience, understanding and tolerance for me.)

I know that I, like pretty much the rest of humanity, am living in disbelief and grief at this point.

Even though I’m lucky enough to be healthy, in a loving family and economically stable, I’m still grieving. Grieving all the pain that I see all around me.

And even if you’re not in the United States right now, I know that chances are you’re grieving too on some level.

Grieving the injustice and oppression wherever you live.

Grieving the loss of loved ones.

Grieving all the losses, big and small.

Grieving the loss of freedoms we took for granted.

Freedom to trust that we can walk out the door and not get a virus that could make us sick or even kill us or our loved ones.
Freedom to travel and explore our beautiful planet.
Freedom to attend gatherings with other people. To see friends and loved ones. To hug them.
Freedom to go to a grocery store without a mask.

It’s perfectly healthy to feel angry and sad and scared as we mourn a way of living that may not be again for a few years. Or maybe ever.

It’s all perfectly understandable but still, I sometimes judge myself for it. I have done a lot of personal growth work. I want to be more evolved. To see the perfection in the imperfection at all times. To always be connected to the knowing that all this will benefit humanity in the long run.

Can you relate?

What I love is how the Universe always sends us exactly what we need when we need it.

We just need to be open to receiving it.

For me that something has been the wisdom I have gained in interviewing amazing wise women for my upcoming (in September!) 2020 Extraordinary Life After 40 summit.

These women remind me of the power that is inside me, and inside all of us, to grow and heal and thrive. And in doing so to heal our planet.

And the tools to do this are often very simple. We just need to remember to do them.

A couple of weeks ago, I interviewed Rori Raye, the author of Have the Relationship You Want and creator of The Modern Siren. Rori says that she went from being an unhappy “crumb taker” to a hugely happy “Modern Siren” with a fabulous, life-long marriage to a great man.

One of the things Rori and I talked about (spoiler alert!) is our feminine ability to embrace everything with love and hold it, thereby transforming it into something that serves us.
The masculine energies within us want to act – to change, to control, to dominate our emotions so we don’t feel the ones that are painful to feel.
The feminine energies within us just want to be silent and hold all of these emotions as we would an infant, tenderly with love and care.
Even our anger. Our impatience. Our grief. Our fear.
Our judgement of ourselves. The parts of us that are judgmental or critical of others.

Our feminine knows that we are strong enough to hold it all.

I decided to make this my experiment for the past couple of weeks.
Every time I noticed a difficult emotion arising within me, I imagined myself just being with it and holding it lovingly as I did my daughters when they cried as babies.

I heard Rori say “we are big enough to hold it all with love” and I did just that.

It was actually much easier than I thought.

I found that I often didn’t even have to stop what I was doing.

I could type an email and hold my anger with love. I could wash dishes and hold my impatience with tenderness. I could read to my 10 year-old and hold my grief with acceptance.

And as I did, something magical began to unfold.
Everything started to feel more spacious. I watched my compassion, for myself and others, grow.
I started to notice that the difficult emotions weren’t so difficult anymore.
I could feel them and yet not be consumed by them. I started to feel that I could embrace all of it – the beauty and the tragedy of being human.
I could be with the joy and pleasure of snuggling with my youngest daughter and smelling her freshly washed hair at the same time as I could feel my heart ache for the world she is inheriting from us.
I could lose myself to rapture and awe as I watched the sunset over the Gulf of Mexico, so different every evening, at the same time as I felt fear and heartbreak as my husband shared with me his worries about how our current situation is affecting the world’s most poor and vulnerable populations.
I remembered the therapist who mothered me as I healed my trauma years ago telling me that “mental health is the ability to be with opposing emotions at the same time.”
I am grateful for how far I’ve come.
I’m grateful for this beautiful life with all its beauty and love and heartbreak and loss.

What about you? How are you holding your emotions these days? Where can you be more loving and tender and compassionate with yourself? With others?

You know I love hearing from you so feel free to leave a comment below or email me at natalie@nataliematushenko.com


Happy Tuesday!




P.S. If you haven’t already, check out my Wisdom Wednesday series!

These are FREE 5 – 10 minute short, actionable videos recorded with me FOR YOU by world-renowned experts to help you thrive in these challenging times.

This week, I’m interviewing two amazing women.

1. Carol Tuttle – a teacher, speaker, energy healer, best-selling author of six books, and pioneer in the field of personal development. For over 25 years, she has supported millions worldwide with her life-changing books and online courses.

2. Rori Raye – the author of Have the Relationship You Want and creator of The Modern Siren. She’s developed hundreds of specific tools that’ve helped thousands of women succeed in love quickly and nearly effortlessly.

Both Carol and Rori will share with you how to thrive in these challenging times!

You can watch these short, actionable videos for FREE on my Extraordinary Life After 40 private Facebook group page or you can sign up here to watch it on my website.

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