§ We came to this world to LIVE OUT LOUD!

My Heart Is Breaking (And What I Do About It).

Mar 1, 2022

My heart is breaking. 

I’m Ukrainian. When I was eight, we immigrated from Kiev to the United States. This left me often torn between two cultures – the Ukrainian and the American – but the older I have gotten, the more I have connected to my Ukrainian roots. The more I’ve realized that our ancestral motherland shapes us, and lives within us.

I have been back to visit several times since The Wall came down.
So, when I found myself in a funk in January, I knew what I had to do. Check out my video below to find out what I did to bring myself out of that funk. My deepest wish is that it sparks something in you and helps you too.
Four years ago, I took my family to the Ukraine so my daughters could get to know where half of their ancestors are from. We spent some time in Kiev and took trains throughout the country into the Carpathian Mountains, and eventually to Lviv.
As I write this today, what is happening as Russia invades Ukraine is mind blowing. It is unbelievable.
I am in shock. I wake up every morning feeling the deep weight and pressure of grief on my chest. Like a giant hand is pushing down on my chest making it difficult to breathe.
I find it hard to sleep, waking up all night long, imagining Ukrainians suffering as I lay safe in my warm bed halfway around the world in Colombia.
I read the news obsessively. Hitting refresh on the website page. Hoping for more glimmers of hope.
I google “How to help Ukranian refugees.” I donate money. I briefly consider flying to Poland to help the refugees crossing the border. I’m not sure what I could do there as I know nobody in Poland, no way to connect refugees to resources.
I’m so proud of the courage Ukrainians have shown in defending their country and freedom. I’m incredulous at the human spirit. I’m amazed that a comedian turned president has shown more courage and grit than pretty much any president I can think of.
I’m proud to be Ukrainian.
Every morning, after spending a few hours reading the news, I remind myself that I’m not helping the energy of the world in my worried, anxious state.
I choose to do something more life giving. Something that lifts up my energy and I’d like to think that, in a tiny way, uplifts the energy of the planet too.
I made this video for you the day after Russia invaded Ukraine because suffering and grief are universal. We all feel grief at certain points in our lives.
Grief is a part of being human. It speaks to caring, to living and loving with an open heart.
Horrible things happen. We lose loved ones. We experience health issues. We go through bankruptcies or businesses fail. Relationships that mean the world to us break apart.
My deepest hope is that what I share in the video helps you now, or someday, when you too are feeling grief or just going through a hard time.

Feel free to leave a comment below. I love hearing from you!

Happy Tuesday!




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