§ We came to this world to LIVE OUT LOUD!
I’m Turning 50 This Year!
(Although I’m aware that if I were fully comfortable with aging, it wouldn’t matter how old or young I look.)
I have come a long way.
I have had an issue with getting older from the time I was 9 years old.
My pragmatic Soviet engineer mom, who didn’t usually show much emotion, was very sad about me not being a little girl anymore and she made comments about it all the time. I remember trying to act younger than I was and ask her questions I already knew the answers to just so I could still be her baby.
I was 11 years old when my mother turned 32 and I still remember her scrutinizing her face in the mirror, lamenting the new wrinkles that were appearing.
And don’t even get me started on when she turned 40. She laid in bed “depressed” all day despite the big party she had planned for that evening.
Add to that a huge number of serious health issues in my family which led to comments like…
“It’s all downhill after 40. Just wait until you turn 50, everything is going to go. Once you hit 60, just forget it. You will be an old woman.”
How did that happen?
The wisdom I’ve gained and the inner peace I feel are worth the extra wrinkles and extra gray hair, which society tells me makes me unattractive.
I wouldn’t want to live my 20’s or 30’s again. My 20’s were very painful as I struggled to heal from a traumatic childhood and uncover my own voice.
My 30’s were full of insecurity (as I embraced motherhood not having had the role model that I needed), the desire to please others and caring way too much what other people though. Although I appeared calm and like I had it all together, on the inside I was often riddled with anxiety.
And we women are like fine wine; we get better with age.
Can you relate?
1. Give myself the space to really feel my emotions.
Grieve whatever is left to grieve for the regrets and the losses. Heal whatever still needs to be healed so that I can approach each day with joy and love in my heart.
2. Honor and celebrate the abundance in my life.
It is a huge gift to have lived for almost 50 years. To have loved and laughed and healed and danced. To have given birth to three amazing girls. To have grown in a partnership with my soulmate for 27 years. To have connected deeply with so many amazing women and have had the honor to help them heal. To have had so many adventures.
3. Become the healthiest I have ever been.
Eat clean. Work with a personal trainer to increase my strength. Prioritize inner peace over getting more things done. Meditate daily.
4. Become more visible.
Speak out more on the topics that I’m passionate about. Finish the book I’ve been working on for years. Connect with even more women.
5. Plan lots of trips and adventures because that’s when I feel most vital and alive!
I’ve already planned the following:
A hiking trip in Mexico with my college BFF in February.
It’s funny how I’m never too busy to do what I love and travel is definitely it!
What about you? How do you feel about aging? Milestone birthdays??
I would love to hear from you and create more community so leave a comment below or reach out to me by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Yet you’ve watched the years go by with nothing really changing.
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