§ We came to this world to LIVE OUT LOUD!
I Was So Pissed!
Five minutes ago, I was so pissed at my husband, I wanted to divorce him. I couldn’t imagine 5 more minutes in the house with this man, let alone the rest of our lives!
In fact, I just stopped writing this blog post to walk back into the house, take his face into my hands and tell him, “I know we’re both super stressed. We are going to work this out and come up with some better systems for doing things so this doesn’t happen again.”
I then kissed him on the lips and left the room.
He looked rather stunned. I think he was expecting a few hours of dirty looks and passive/aggressive comments… or at least some silent treatment.
And the best part is that this isn’t some fantasy I’m telling you about. This really just happened.
It feels really good to laugh too. And I was laughing all the way back to my office.
And I feel frickin’ victorious! (Sorry! I really have a hard time swearing in print. Or when the kids are around. I’m a bit of a potty-mouth the rest of the time though.)
It’s funny, I was just thinking this morning how maintaining inner peace (or our sanity, at times) is a moment-by-moment practice.
In short, it’s allowing ourselves to be transformed by the collective experience we are all living now.
Or we can allow ourselves to feel the deep grief and loss below whatever it is that we are feeling and then, and only then, get on with the business of becoming responsible for ourselves, our emotions and our energy.
1. We realize that our feelings are ours.
Nobody else is responsible for them. WE feel angry, scared, powerless, sad, etc. Nobody else MADE us feel this way. Nobody can make us feel anything. We feel what we feel because of how we perceive the world and how we react to it.
2. Once we accept that our feelings are ours, we are free to do something about them.
We can feel them long enough to get information as to what needs to be done.
3. But before doing anything, we need to get back to our center.
We can meditate, exercise, walk mindfully, breathe deeply, use essential oils, questions our thoughts and beliefs, do energetic release work. These are just a few ideas.
4. Once we are centered, we are free to respond to the situation at hand in a way that will bring us greater peace.
We may need to lovingly set a boundary or we may need some self-care or we may need to re-negotiate space/to-do’s/systems. In my case, I took a few deep breaths and realized that in that particular moment, I was angry at my husband for making me angry.
I was blaming him and the person suffering was me. I asked myself, “What would lead me to peace right now?” And because I have been doing this for a while, the answer was clear. So, I dropped my anger and surprised him with a kiss. I laughed and our entire energy shifted. I know without a doubt that later tonight when we finally have some time alone, we will be able to have a productive conversation about what happened and how to make some changes so that we can cohabitate more happily together from now on.
It feels good to be responsible for my emotions and my energy. It gives me power to choose and to act rather than blindly react. And I know that if I practice it now, I will be able to use these skills for the rest of my life.
What about you? How are you practicing living in the here and now?
I love hearing from you so feel free to leave a comment below.