§ We came to this world to LIVE OUT LOUD!
I Healed My Family Relationships (and How You Can Too)
Relationships can be hard.
I have had a difficult and traumatic childhood, followed by many years of painful family visits and reunions.
So I get it.
That’s why I was excited to realize that not only was my last visit with my parents in October wonderful but I’m really excited to see them for the holidays this month.
I have come a long way.
We have come a long way as a family.
When I reflect on how we turned all that pain into love, compassion and fun, I think it comes down to the fact that I took responsibility for my pain and healed it.
Sure, I could have stayed in victim mode and blamed my parents for all that went wrong in my childhood. And truth to tell, I did for many years. I spent years in therapy to understand and heal. I still have to work at it sometimes.
Yet, at some point I realized a few really important things and this changed everything:
1. I believe that my soul came to this world to learn the lessons it needed to learn so as to learn unconditional love towards myself, and eventually, others.
I believe that my soul chose my parents as the people who would help me learn those lessons. So it’s up to me. I can heal and transform the pain of my childhood, learn these lessons, and be free or I could stay stuck.
I chose freedom. I chose to transform the pain into compassion, for myself and others. I chose to help others heal through my hard-won wisdom. I freed myself.
2. My parents were doing the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had.
3. Compassion doesn’t mean codependence or lack of boundaries.
I can love them and I can understand where their pain comes from but I need to do what I need to protect myself and my girls emotionally.
Sometimes that meant not spending time together as a family (when I didn’t feel I was strong enough to handle it and not throw my inner child under the bus).
And now I’m just plain excited to see my parents and to have all three generations celebrating the holidays together.
My heart is full of gratitude for all of it.
What about you? Which relationship can these holidays help you heal??
As always, you know I love to hear from you so feel free to leave a comment below or get in touch.