§ We came to this world to LIVE OUT LOUD!
How to Easily Stop Criticizing and Judging
This past week, I went to a personal growth retreat where one of the participants realized that she’s really, really judgmental.
She judged everything… from what people are wearing to where the plants are in somebody’s house to the color of the cupboards in their kitchen.
“Well, at least I’m not judgmental”, I thought to myself. “I’m a pretty open-minded person.”
Hah! I caught myself. I know that whenever I find myself denying having a characteristic I see in others, but don’t particularly like… well, chances are I have it too.
It’s an invitation for me to look a little deeper within.
Of course, I’m judgmental.
We’re all judgmental.
Can you relate?
But here’s the good news – noticing that you judge (and then probably criticize and blame) is a portal to personal transformation.
You can quickly help you identify what’s REALLY going on with you and transform the judgement into compassion and love, so that you honor and take care of yourself, while treating others with kindness and love.
Once I realized this and started applying a simple technique I learned to my life, everything changed for the better. I feel better about myself – kinder and more compassionate – and I find my relationships are much more harmonious too.
I love connecting with you! Leave a comment below or send me an email at natalie@nataliematushenko.com.
Happy Tuesday!
Natalie
Be willing to learn and grow on the journey of life with respect.
Yes John!
Thanks, I, like you, have the first reaction “I’m not judge mental”. This is a great teaching on how to look deeper into this. I will definitely use this.
Thanks Robin! It’s not easy to look at the mirrors life provides us but so worthwhile. Thanks for getting in touch! xoxo
Thanks for this video – helps me to look deeper to find where I’m being judgmental and how to deal with that in the moment it’s happening.
Thanks Michele! So appreciate you taking the time to comment!
Thanks Michele! I love sharing whatever new ‘ahas’ I get in the hope that they will help others too. xoxo
I think it is important to distinguish between judgement and discernment – which is helpful to grow ! I often notice a confusion between those two, especially in spiritual communities (who are so concerned to not judge …)
Their are behaviors who are harmful or disturbing for communities, for relationships, for nature … And I consider it as good to say no to them – beginning of course with yourself ! But also saying no to them, when others are doing them. and sometimes more helpful also for them, than trying to be ‘nice’ by ‘not Judging’, but also not discerning.
Thanks for your food of thoughts 🙂
Have an nice day !
Hi Pia, what you write is very astute. There is a difference between judging and discernment and for me, that has to do with energy, circumstances and also for figuring out what’s best for my life. For instance, to use the case in the video, if I walk into a room and think how ugly the furniture is or how shabbily my host is dressed, I’m judging. If, on the other hand, I’m remodeling my house and somebody suggests that I purchase furniture which I consider ugly, I can be discerning and say, “No thanks, that’s. not for me.” And while that’s a superficial example, it extends to deeper issues as well. I can see somebody behaving in ways that are not loving and judge them “that’s so unevolved, etc.” or I can send them compassion and love yet say “no thanks” when they invite me for coffee (discernment). That’s my take on it.
This was great, thank you so much for advising how not to judge. Loved it! And will try to put it in practice. I’m very grateful for this.
Thanks Laura! I love to pass along whatever I learn. It gives all the difficult things that come in life meaning if I can use them for myself and share them with others.
Thanks Laura! xoxo
Thank you Natalie for sharing your vulnerability as this opened up for me my own “need”to criticize. I realized how this pattern assists me in pushing away my deep fear of feeling what I really feel.
I aim to make a daily practice of your suggestion of getting curious ( seems fear friendly) about what’s underneath my criticism…
Thanks Cheryl, in turn, for sharing so vulnerably… we’re all in this journey together.
Thank you for this teaching. I do judge myself for judging!
Hi Daryl! Yes and with some work, we begin to have compassion for ourselves. It’s a journey.
Thank you for the info
Happy to help Roger!
Thanks so much for this very pertinent message today Natalie !! I have noticed this, the whisper of judgement inside my head, for some time and have been “working” to transform it in consciousness. So true that what we feel critical of in others can in fact be a mirror for “material” we can transform in ourselves. For example, awhile ago I read somewhere that the word “should” only conveys guilt and inadequacy in our language. I really “hear” this word now, when it tries to escape my lips, and I edit if in the moment, generally sharing with whomever I am speaking the reason why. Thanks again for enlightening my day !! Blessings! Sandi
Hi Sandy! Thanks for getting in touch! What you shared is such a beautiful example of how we transform consciousness, one thought to one word at a time. Blessings to you too!