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From Crippling Anxiety to Inner Peace

Nov 30, 2021

Have you ever felt completely anxious and angry because of a relationship problem (or anything else)?

Want to learn how to come back to center and feel peace and love in your heart?

I have been having a major problem with a relationship that has been an important part of my life for a long time. I felt hurt, sad, scared, frustrated, shocked and very angry.
I mulled it over in my head for weeks.
This only made my heart ache more and my anger grow stronger.
I know that any time I feel something so strongly it’s because “my stuff” is getting triggered yet I just couldn’t seem to work it through enough to get to a place of peace within myself.
I wasn’t able to talk things over with this person because I have been traveling with my kids nonstop this summer and we were finally able to schedule a time to talk last week.
I was so worked up and anxious about the conversation that I couldn’t sleep well the night before. I woke up in a funk, pissed off and ready to “get everything off my chest”.
Yet, I really care about my relationship with this person and I knew that showing up so angry and anxious would create an environment in which open and loving conversation could not happen.
I also hated the way I was feeling – anxious, out of balance. At the end of the day, as much as I believed that I had been wronged, I WAS THE ONE SUFFERING.
I knew all this yet I couldn’t seem to change how I was feeling.
I had to use all of my favorite tools and in less than an hour, I felt peaceful, trusting and open to possibilities. (You can also skip the walk and do this in 20 min).
Here’s what I did:
Went for a power walk in nature (30 min) – I find that moving my body, ideally in a place where I can breathe some fresh air and see some green, starts to shift my energy. I walked for 30 min and started to feel more centered and balanced. (If you don’t have 30 min, you can take a couple of minutes to take about 10 deep breaths while imagining that you are in a place that feels safe and nurturing for you.)
Journaled (5 min)– I really connect to myself and my thoughts as I write and it only took me about 5 minutes of writing to have a major Aha! moment. I realized that I was suffering because I wasn’t accepting my feelings. Not only was I feeling feelings that didn’t feel good (anger, sadness, hurt, etc.) but I was also judging myself for how I was feeling. I was telling myself that I shouldn’t feel this way, be more enlightened, get over it and move on, etc. I was making the situation way worse by not accepting myself. Can you relate?

Made a list of the top 3 negative beliefs I had about myself at that moment (1 min)– “There is something wrong with me to be feeling this way.”, “I am not lovable.”, “I will never make the full impact that I want to make in the world.”

Used the Havening Technique on these beliefs (5 min)– This technique is super powerful to reduce anxiety/negative feelings and increase your sense of wellbeing. I really encourage you to watch my modified version of havening and then you can do it anytime you need to in less that 5 min.

Wrote down the positive beliefs to replace the negative ones I had before (1 min)– “It’s perfectly normal to feel sad, angry, etc.”, “I am absolutely lovable.”, “I can achieve anything that I put my heart and mind to. I have achieved everything I have ever wanted and this will be no different.” The key here is that the positive beliefs need to be ones that you actually believe.

Did a relaxation exercise and programmed my mind by repeating the positive beliefs (3 min)– There are many ways to do this. The key is to get yourself into a relaxed state by relaxing your body and then state your positive beliefs a few times with the intention of locking them into your subconscious.

Locked in the good vibes by doing an Energy Clearing Visualization (5 min)– check out my short video on how to do this here. I do this visualization every morning and then, as needed, throughout the day to feel great, positive and connected to Universal abundance and love.

Fifty minutes spent and I found myself feeling grounded, centered, peaceful and with a clear intention for the upcoming call – to feel more inner peace and to get back to a state of love and flow.
Would you be surprised to know that we wound up having a very honest and loving conversation?
We were able to connect very deeply and really share what was going on for each of us and for the relationship. It was healing for both of us and very affirming. And it cleared up the energy I was using for anger and anxiety to focus on what I wanted to create in my relationships and in my life going forward.
I was able to get off the call feeling love and gratitude for the everything in my life and even appreciate all of the imperfections that make us human. I was also super productive for the rest of the day because of all the energy I freed up.

So, what about you? What can you take from my sharing to apply to your own life? Your relationships?

I would love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment and get in touch at natalie@nataliematushenko.com.

Happy Tuesday!

 xoxo,

Natalie

 

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2 Comments

  1. Nichole
    Nichole on November 30, 2021 at 11:17

    Thank YOU!! I am gobsmacked at how timely it is for this message to land in my inbox! I am in a new relationship (at 74!) and we have ended up in a “ditch” twice since beginning just over two months ago. He misinterpreted a text and ghosted me and when I finally called him to determine what was going on he spewed so much anger on me that I went into a full blown PTSD episode for several days. I needed to be “talked of the ledge” and I had help to do so. We are both packing the same issues in our relationship “”suitcases”. We are both easily triggered by those issues. We have made a pact to tell one another when triggered and do the work to “bring each other up into adulthood” in order to not respond with the arrested emotional intelligence of the child that experienced the initial trauma/wound. We will see how that goes!! Meanwhile you have provided me with some tools that I will share with my partner and certainly be using in general to handle anxiety provoking incidents in my life.

    Reply
    • Natalie Matushenko
      Natalie Matushenko on December 2, 2021 at 16:55

      Hi Nicole! Thanks for getting in touch and sharing so openly and vulnerably. There’s nothing like relationships to show us where our wounded children are and what we need to heal. Best of luck on your journey! xoxo

      Reply

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